I tolfte timmen: En gammal, dåraktig kvinnas bekännelser

About this book

I tolfte timmen by Gertrud Almqvist is a novel written in the early 20th century. Framed as a backward-moving diary, it follows Ronny (fru Berglöf), a sharp, self-scrutinizing woman entering late middle age, as she wrestles with aging, sexuality, marriage, motherhood, and sanity. Her world orbits a brittle marriage to Albert, a tender yet testing bond with her daughter Viveke, probing sessions with a nerve specialist, and unresolved memories of past love that challenge norms.

The opening of the novel shows Ronny beginning her diary after a devastating birthday, skewering her social circle’s hypocrisies while admitting her own isolation. Medical visits expose exhaustion, fear of becoming “useless,” and a doctor’s clinical framing of her desire; under analysis she revisits a searing attachment to a woman, Carla, a later affair with a married man taken as “anesthesia,” and fleeting thoughts of self-destruction. A women’s club jubilee sparks bitter, hallucinatory reflections on female aging, and a tense morning exchange with Albert lays bare their incompatibilities. On a spring outing, Viveke gently compels honesty: Ronny admits a former love and urges mutual truth, but afterward suffers a panic vision tied to childhood fear. As treatment continues, she slides into a controlled, therapeutic infatuation with the doctor and discovers relief in “letting go of control,” briefly feeling in rhythm with the world. Further sessions probe her shame before her daughter and recall a tolerant confidante, suggesting that judgment and “purity” are often masks for hidden desires.